How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
Before you’re able to get your ex girlfriend back, you need to understand why she broke up with you in the first place.
Ok, let’s get right to it, I’m about to reveal to you the real reason why your ex-girlfriend left you. The secret I’m about to tell you is something most men are clueless about.
Here’s a little hint: what she actually told you was the reason why she left you was not the real reason at all.
You have to understand that when your ex-girlfriend initially felt attracted to you, it was not a conscious choice. In fact, when it comes to men and women, attraction is never a conscious choice. Being attracted to someone is the result of a physiological process, which makes attraction possible.
Your girlfriend felt attracted to you based on how you initially conducted yourself with her. Ultimately, she lost her attraction to you because you stopped acting in an attractive manner.
Let’s face it, most guys out there feel attraction for women based on their looks and beauty. Meanwhile, women feel attraction for men based on how a man acts and the way he makes a woman feel. So, if a woman says she’s only interested in tall guys, what she really means is, she’s only interested in guys who will give her the same feeling as a tall guy.
In fact, there’s a certain way men behave, which women find irresistible.
If you were able to attract your ex-girlfriend in the beginning, you behaved that way—probably on an unconscious level.
The more advanced a relationship gets, the more a woman will “test” her man. If a man fails those tests enough times and lets his girlfriend become more dominant in the relationship, it won’t be long before she dumps him.
To understand this better, here is an excerpt from David Deida’s “The Way of the Superior Man” book:
“Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so. Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge.
The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: imperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading. She cannot move you, because you already are what you are, with or without her. She cannot scare you away, because you already penetrate her in fearless love, pervading her heart and body. She cannot distract you, because your one-pointed commitment to truth will not bend to her wiles… Until she wants to feel you as Shiva again. And then the testing will begin anew. In fact, it is precisely when you are most Shiva-like that she will most test you.”
You’re about to learn something much more significant than just getting your ex-girlfriend back. You’re about to learn how to influence any woman’s attraction for you on a conscious level.
If you think about it, most guys out there have no idea how to attract a woman in the first place, let alone get an ex-girlfriend back. With this blog post, you’re about to be part of the elite few, who “get it”.
First we will discuss unattractive behaviors. The way you started behaving over the span of your relationship: this behavior is the reason your ex-girlfriend started to lose attraction for you. Even though she might not realize it on a conscious level, she might have given you some other reason, but believe me when I tell you that this is the only reason she broke up with you, and chances are she doesn’t even understand this on a conscious level as well.
The best way to turn a girl off is by acting in an insecure way. Women like men with confidence the same way men like women with large breasts. This is not a conscious choice—women can’t help but feel repelled by needy or insecure men.
Now let’s talk about the different forms of insecurity.
When a guy acts in a jealous way with his girlfriend, he’s basically subconsciously communicating to her that deep down inside, he doesn’t feel good enough to be with her. Women hate men who are controlling: what they really want is a man who is in control. When you act jealous, you show your girlfriend that you are weak and not in control.
Acting jealous includes asking your girlfriend where and who she is with at all times, getting annoyed when she talks to other guys or even putting other guys down.
These types of behaviors are relationship killers.
What I want to stress is that, in reality, most guys out there are clueless when it comes to girls and attraction.
So if anything, you should be happy when your girlfriend talks to other guys because this kind of behavior only makes you look better.
Don’t be a control freak
Trying to control your girlfriend is another big no-no as it only demonstrates how insecure you really are deep down inside. You will know that you are being a control freak when you always tell you’re your girlfriend not to hang out with guys or even her own friends.
This is the same thing as acting jealous, which is a form of neediness. There’s a saying that goes: “nobody needs the needy,” and believe me when I say that no girl wants to be in a relationship with a needy boyfriend. Like I said earlier, don’t be controlling. Instead, be “in control” of yourself and your negative emotions.
Think about it, if someone forces you to do something against your will, what will be your first instinct? You will want to rebel and do the exact opposite. It’s the same thing for your girlfriend.
Putting her needs before your own
Women want a man who is his own person. In other words, you should never place a woman’s needs before your own.
If you agree with everything your girlfriend says or wants to do, sooner rather than later, she will lose romantic respect for you.
“He who cares the least, controls the relationship”
Many guys think that women are only attracted to jerks. In reality, however, women are not attracted to jerks, they’re attracted to some of the character traits displayed by these so-called jerks. Jerks are not only cocky, they often display “high value” by having self-respect and the tendency to not act in a needy way, both of which are powerful signals that turn women on.
Don’t get me wrong, women do like nice guys. And by nice guy, I DON’T mean being a doormat or a pushover, NOBODY likes a pushover. I mean nice guy, as in, a person with good morals, integrity and someone she can trust.
Have you ever asked your girlfriend the following:
– Do you think I’m attractive?
– Do you like me?
– What’s your favorite thing about me?
– Are you happy to be with me?
I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. Again, the idea is to not act emotionally needy and convey a lack of confidence.
This type of behavior repels women.
Being too available
Calling your girlfriend many times a day and asking her to hang out almost every day is a very bad idea. This might sound counter intuitive, but you must understand that it is human nature to not find value in something that is always readily available. Part of being an attractive man, is having your own life, goals and hobbies.
If you feel your girlfriend is gradually pulling away from the relationship, your first instinct might be to act clingy and pull her back in again. That’s precisely what you don’t want to do—the more you try to pull her in, the more you will push her away from the relationship.
Here we’ll talk about what specific behaviors you can adopt, to attract women into your life, including your ex-girlfriend.
Leading the way
When you take your girlfriend out, you must make plans in advance. Never put the burden of organizing your plans to go out upon her shoulders. She will be instantly turned off!
When you do so, you are basically subconsciously communicating to your girlfriend that she has to call the shots and be “the man.” In this type of scenario, a woman can’t trust you to be the man, which will make her gradually lose attraction and respect for you. This is not even a conscious choice on her part, but is the result of millions of years of evolution that has her seeking a confident, alpha male, that is, a leader-type of man.
If your first plan doesn’t work out, have a back-up plan. You can also improvise something on the spot, as long as YOU are the one coming up with ideas. By being the one calling the shots, you are basically showing that you are in charge.
Like anything in life, it might seem difficult to be decisive in the beginning. I too, had trouble being decisive in my inexperienced days, but being decisive is part of being an attractive man and your girlfriend will naturally follow your lead. Moreover, by being in charge when it matters, you will actually set yourself apart from most guys out there.
Again, confidence is very important—the idea is to be assertive and self-assured. Don’t confuse this with being a jerk. Women don’t like jerks, they like confident men. If you act like a jerk, women will see right through you and you will turn them off.
If you have trouble being confident with people, try practicing by talking to strangers, or even cashiers, servers, or waiters. They’re paid to be nice to you, might as well practice with them. The idea is to “fake it ‘till you make it”. It might be awkward in the beginning, but sooner or later, you will get the hang of it and being confident around others will soon become second nature to you.
Being your own man
Another kind of attractive behavior is being your own man. What does this mean? Well, simply, who you are before you became half of a couple should not change just because your woman wants to change certain aspects about your personality.
Of course, you may want to change for the better, but this does not mean that you have to do a complete 180-degree turn just for any woman.
Moreover, if you have specific tastes and values, don’t change them to please your girlfriend.
This type of behavior will only lower your girlfriend’s romantic respect for you.
Women are attracted to men that are their own persons.
Leading an attractive lifestyle
To a woman, nothing is more attractive than a man leading a “goal-oriented” lifestyle.
These days, most men go about living their lives without any real purpose or higher goal—going to work, coming home, watching TV reruns and repeating the same routine over and over. Women like men who live with passion. Having a goal-oriented lifestyle can include things like:
– Starting a new business
– Learning an instrument or a new language
– Volunteering for a cause you are passionate about
– Starting a band
– Working out to lose weight and getting in shape
– Pursuing anything you are passionate or excited about.
Masculine and feminine energy
If you think about what attracted you to your ex-girlfriend in the first place, on a subconscious level, you might say her feminine essence or energy. The opposite is also true, women are attracted to men oozing with the right kind of masculine energy—embrace this.
Since the ‘60s, men have been taught by society that men and women must be equal partners in a relationship. Over the last few decades, men have increasingly become more feminine, leaving women no choice but to become more masculine. In other words, men have become weaker and women have become the ball busters. Women want a man with a masculine essence, a man who serves his purpose in the world, a man who is in control of his life. What we’re talking about is, being in control of your life, not trying to control your girlfriend’s life.
Let me stress this one point: a woman wants to be able to trust her man in his truth and love, only then will she relax into the polarity of man and woman.
“He who has the power to walk away, has the power in the relationship”
Once you reverse your breakup, your ex-girlfriend will never break up with you again if she feels you are willing to walk away at any point.
This is a very powerful kind of knowledge that you must be able to maximize as needed.
Defining your boundaries
It is true that a woman will test you over and over again. She will try to push your buttons and test your boundaries to see how far she can go before you put your foot down. An attractive man who respects himself will have certain boundaries that cannot be crossed.
However, this depends on each individual. Essentially, you have to decide, which boundaries you must have for yourself.
For example, my girlfriend would never dare use the F-word one me if we get into an argument; this is a limit I have set early in the relationship.
Cheating is another thing I would also never tolerate, such that, if that boundary is ever crossed, I would be willing to walk away from the relationship.
It all comes down to, how much respect you have for yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, you can’t expect your girlfriend to respect you either.
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